The Bond Slave Identity
By Deborah Wittmier
Recently, the Lord showed me something that brought me much clarity and personal freedom. Since it relates to the ministry, I really want to share it with you. It is very precious to me, and I hope you can extend me grace in the telling of it, for it requires considerable detail to reveal its full meaning. Hopefully, it will speak to you as well.
It all started when the Lord began dealing with me about my identity in ministry. “How do you see yourself?” He asked me. I answered, but He just repeated the question. After trying several different answers, which always drew the same repeated question, it finally dawned on me that there was apparently something wrong with the way I see myself in ministry. Then He took me back to that moment of Divine encounter—the moment when I received and accepted the call into ministry, replaying it over and over. Again, it finally dawned on me that I must be missing something in that encounter, or we wouldn’t have to keep replaying it. Apparently, whatever I was missing was the real answer to the question, “How do you see yourself?” The words that were being played over and over were these: “You are my bond slave; bought and paid for with My blood!” At the time, I was so heavily under the anointing of the Spirit that I can only liken it to being in a trance, unable to move, only able to listen. I knew that, from that moment on, my life was His to direct in a deeper and more profound way.
Immediately after that, circumstances opened for me to enter full-time ministry. That was in 1985. From that time until now, my experience of full-time ministry has been a series of very different and seemingly unrelated roles. I spent several years traveling as a staff person of a large teaching ministry, helping to facilitate crusades and conferences. Quite abruptly, that changed and the Lord made it clear that I was to take the position of Children’s Pastor. Having immersed myself completely in that, I was very surprised when the Lord clearly directed me to move into an administrative role, ultimately culminating in having supervisory responsibility for the construction of a several million-dollar sanctuary. Though the sanctuary was complete, it had not even been dedicated yet when the Lord spoke to me to resign that position. It was time to begin Deborah Ministries, which you know to have included teaching, deliverance and biblical counseling. After nearly five years, the Lord simply lifted me out of the counseling with the words, “I am lifting you out.” That was last fall. Since then I have had a very full schedule of teaching the Word, both domestically and internationally.
Perhaps you can see why my identity—how I saw myself in ministry—was somewhat confused. With each new role I filled, I took on the identity of that role. And, each time a new assignment came, it was difficult to accept, because I was emotionally locked into the old one and its identity. I became increasingly reluctant to tell people what I was called to, because invariably it seemed that when I was deeply immersed in accomplishing ‘that call’, there would be a ‘suddenly’ and I would find myself being clearly led in another direction. Many of you have watched some or all of this and can attest to how ‘all over the board’ my journey in ministry has been! Yet, in it all there has never been a doubt of Whose voice is leading me, with circumstances confirming and paving the way.
Now, back to the instant replay of the words of my call, “You are my bond slave, bought and paid for with my blood.” Finally I came to see that the key thing I had missed was the identity of my call—the identity of a bond slave. My whole identity in ministry—what I am called to—is to be His personal attendant. Suddenly I understood why I have filled so many different roles. They have each been an assignment; something the Master needed His servant to accomplish. My call is not to be a pastor, a counselor, an administrator, or anything else other than bond slave. That means I can expect to be used on special assignment whenever the Master sees the need. Now I will no longer draw my identity from that assignment, so I won’t have to feel the pain of being ripped away from that identity (at the end of the assignment); neither will I be limited by it. I am free to serve wholeheartedly, though temporarily. This is highly unusual in the world of ministry, where most people feel distinctly called to a particular field or office of ministry. Often ‘temporary’ is synonymous with ‘flaky’, immature, or a false start. Having fought those giants for years without understanding, I am now free in my identity as His bond slave—free to go willingly from one Personal assignment to the next. I can stop wondering what I’m going to be when I grow up! It’s not about growing up; it’s about understanding.
By the way, it has been prophesied that ‘something new’ is coming! There is a beautiful precedent in Exodus 21:1-6 for life as a bond slave. When a servant’s time of servanthood is fulfilled, his master must set him free (according to the Law). However, if the servant has grown to love his master so that he no longer wants his independence, he can willingly give up his freedom to serve under that master forever—as his bondservant. He is then brought to the doorpost and his ear is pierced through with an awl, declaring to all that he is a “love-slave.” Because of his love for his master, he has chosen slavery. When I was entranced in that Divine moment back in 1985, I had a ‘doorpost experience’ of the heart. Because of my love of the Master, I have willingly chosen a lifetime of servanthood. I am walking in the footsteps of the One who--having always had the freedom of being the Son—made himself a servant, because of love.
Recently I heard it taught that true freedom is not the absence of restriction; it is the absence of concern. Over the years I have found that I am the most free when I am the most enslaved to the Lord. It is when I try to act independently that the frustration comes. You see, the slave has very little responsibility, therefore he has very little to cause concern. His only responsibility is to obey. All other responsibility falls on the master. Won’t you, too, come deeper into the freedom of ‘love-slavery’?
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