DMI ministers in response to Isaiah 61:1, "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound."
Regret: painful sense of dissatisfaction or self-reproach, as over something lost or done. Much sorrow and grief is fed, and therefore kept alive by regret. When there is no regret, healing from the pain of loss can take place unhindered. As I pondered this concept, I began to realize how much of our emotional pain is locked in place by our own regrets. When I look back on my own life, I have many regrets over the way I handled different situations, difficult relationships or choices made in foolishness or inexperience. Not surprisingly, when I recall those times, it is often still painful. On the other hand, when I remember difficult times or situations in which I have no regrets, the memories are not painful, in spite of how unpleasant the subject of the memory! Apparently, as long as there is an unresolved sense of dissatisfaction with myself or self-reproach, the emotional pain is kept alive and current.
What about you? Are there any regrets that come quickly to mind? What then? Are we just doomed to carry the sorrow and regret with us for our whole lives? I think not, for to rid ourselves of the regret is to make way for the hurt, no matter how old, to heal. Remember that dissatisfaction with yourself or self-reproach is at the heart of your regrets. You cant change what you did or said in the past, but you can change your judgment of yourself or your perception of yourself. How? Forgive yourself. Make a decision that if Christ can forgive you, which He can and already has, then is there any reason to withhold your own forgiveness?
Unforgiveness is really emotional punishment. How long have you been punishing yourself with reproach? Reproach: to express disapproval of, criticism of, or disappointment in; to bring shame upon; disgrace. Probably the biggest hurdle to forgiving yourself is that you know full well that you deserve the reproach. Ironically, that's exactly what qualifies you for forgiveness! Nobody deserves forgiveness-- the whole reason you need forgiveness is because you deserve reproach. Consider this: has the disapproval, criticism, shame or disgrace you have been covering yourself with accomplished any good purpose in your life? At any point, will the punishment be enough to earn you relief from the reproach? No, I think not. Practically speaking, though, no amount of regret or self-reproach has been able to change the outcome, neither will it ever be able to.
In forgiveness, we have been given in opportunity to affect our future, in the face of not being able to change the past. To extend forgiveness is to finally release the person (in this case, you) from responsibility to repair the damage and restore the situation back to what it was before the transgression. In so doing, you don't change the past, but you remove the harsh taskmaster of reproach from your memory of the past. When that happens, you open the door for the Lord to heal the pain your foolishness caused. As you move ahead without the weight of the self-disapproval and criticism and shame, you are much better equipped to make wise, godly choices in the future. Your future will no longer be clouded by your past. This has already been accomplished for you spiritually because of the forgiveness of God extended to us in Christ.
Do you want to override the peace of God's forgiveness in your own heart through your own self-reproach? Surely not! To do so would be to say to the Father, "My own self-reproach means more to me than the blood, the life, of your Son." To forgive yourself is to regard the Person and Work of Jesus Christ. Release yourself from self-reproach and remove the yoke of regret from your shoulders, emotionally. Not only does Jesus forgive our sin, but he makes it possible for us to go forward, embracing the future unburdened by regret! It's time. It's been too long. Pray the prayer of forgiveness now, and release yourself. Give your regrets to Christ. He already paid for them. ♦
